"The Hunger Games"

The best selling novel has now become a major film event...

There has been quite a build up to this film release. The story concerns the future, and a planet seperated into districts. Every year each district, of which there are 12, has to submit a boy and girl to complete in the Annual Huger Games. Sounds like a rather grand and prestigious tournament. There is however a downside, out of the 24 contestants taking part in the event, there can be only one winner. or rather there can be only one survivor.

District 12 is ranked as a low outsider, having little success in the previous Games. But they could be on to a winner this year, as the female contestant is Katniss Everdeen. A bit of a wild card, a loner, she and her younger sister are both possible contenders for District 12, and when her young sister is selected, Katniss offers herself as tribute rather than have her sister take part.
All the contestants are taken to the main city, where they can train, learn skills, and also interact with potential sponsors, who can help out when the Games are running.

There is major flaw with the film, in that like "The Cabin in the Woods", the creative behind involved with making the Games enjoyable for the viewers, are able to turn the tables on the contestants whenever they want, I suppose they have to give the viewers a reason to keep watching, but when the contestants are working so hard, it is rather like a slap in the face for all their hard work.
There is the usual bunch of contestants, the alpha male, there is a love interest for Katniss, those who help, and those who hinder.

Ultimately it is a rather bland effort, nothing to majorly say wow to. After the credits rolled, all I could think was "Is that it"?
Another major negative point is the photography. I would advise against anyone sitting on the first say 30 rows of seats at the cinema, as it may induce vomitting. With this kind of documentary style photography, and constant shaking, it is difficult for one to focus and enjoy what is on screen. And who is the guilty party? None other than Tom Stern, who has photographed some truly great films, many under the Direction of Clint Eastwood. As to where he went badly wrong here, I can only sumise the Director was at fault.
The only major plus is a scene stealing Stanley Tucci as 'Caeser Flickerman', a kind of Michael Parkinson for The Hunger Games. Great fun performance from a great actor, a rare delight in this film.

The Hunger Games failed to deliver on so much promise......6 out of 10

"Titanic"

Returning to the Big Screen is one of the biggest Box Office hits of all time. Namely James Cameron's multi Oscar winning "Titanic".

Will just recap the story....the White Star Line has its latest luxury liner about to set sail. On board are Rose and Jack, two people who could not be any further apart if you tried. Yet somehow their worlds coming crashing together, and they become attracted to one another, despite that Rose is engaged to be married.
Also on board the luxury ship is an assortment of people from all walks of life, from the rich to the lower classes. All completely unaware of that tragedy that is about to befall them all.

The story between Jack and Rose does rather detract from the tragedy that befalls the other 2,000 or so passengers on board. They get the occasional bit of side story, but ultimatelty this is about them, and lets face it, they are fictional as well. Their story of making each day count is all very nice, but there are more moving stories to tell, and stories that are very real.

The story am afraid, as is often the case with a Cameron film is a tad bland, the lead characters are ok, but it has all been done before, and frankly a lot better. By far the worst character is 'Cal Hockley' played by Billy Zane, such dreadful writing, he is barely one dimensional, and the acting is dreadful. He is quite like a Pantomime villain, you expect him to start twirling on a large moustache, and cackling to himself.

One thing that you cannot argue with is the technical side of the film, the recreation of the ship, the costumes, the visual effects, all are of a first class standard, and were worthy Oscar winners. I do have a problem with "Titanic" winning Best Picture, personally I still think it should have gone to "L.A. Confidential".

Onto the 3D aspect, something that I have been very critical of. I have problems enjoying films shot in 3D, let alone 2D films which have been converted, like this one.
There was however one major change with this 3D viewing, namely that one saw it on an IMAX screen. Now whether it is the IMAX aspect or not I am not sure, but this was a very good 3D experience, not the best, but for a conversion was very good. There is hope yet.

Nice to re-experience"Titanic".....and the IMAX was superior.......8 out of 10

"The Cabin In The Woods"

A group of young people head off into the woods to find a nice deserted cabin to spend some quality time together. There are the usual characters, the geek, the sports jock, the token girls to excite the male members of the audience. There is also the local red neck hill-billie type warning them of impending doom. Sounds all too familiar.

All the regular ingredients are there, but with one added extra. The film opens in a huge complex, and we see accomplished actors like Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford in white coats, looking over a huge bank of television screens.
I suppose one might say that it is "Big Brother" the next level, but there is still more to the story.

When the teeny boppers arrive at their venue, they find it quite accomodating....that is until the Zombies arrive to start terrorising them. Soon the group are being picked off, one at a time.
Back in the complex, it seems that it is more than just an extreme version of B.B. taking place. And that a greater evil is at work. I won't reveal anymore about that, incase anyone who watches this film, might actually find it enjoyable.

My biggest fault with the film is if you do want to terrorise a group of young people with Zombies then at least allow them a sporting chance. It makes it so much more enjoyable for the viewer.
There is very little I can think of to commend about the movie, the final few scenes are ok, but to be honest by that time, the damage has been done, and you really don't give a sh*t.

And for the love of God, PLEASE will someone get Sigourney Weaver a new Agent, and give the  lady a chance of appearing in some decent films, as the poor dear is turning into a joke.

Don't believe the poster....for it lies......3 out of 10

"Battleship"

After their success with the "Transformers" franchise, Hasbro has turned its attention to a different kind of robot, though not that different.

Scientists have sent a message to the stars, a message of hope and good will. It is when the message gets a reply that the Earth's problems really begin.
At the same time, a ceremony is taking place to honour the War Heroes from the past, and a group of varying Naval war ships are participating in some War Games, the honour of the fleet is at stake, with ships from all over the world taking part.

Soon the World's Oceans are not only full of big Warships doing battle with each other, but also visitors from another World. Needless to say that they are not the most friendly of guests. Soon they are disposing of Naval vessels of all kinds, and the Fleet are powerless to help. The visiting Aliens have put up a large shield around their Ship, but also trapped inside are 3 Warships from the War Games, the remainder of the Warships are outside, and unable to break through.
A battle ensues with the Aliens looking like they are all but unbeatable.

This film is a mess, and instead of following in the great traditions of the first "Tranformers" film, it unfortunately follows in the footsteps of the sequel, and the even worse second sequel. There is very little to commend about it, visually it is impressive but that is little to help ease the pain of watching this movie.
Having said that, there is one saving grace which saves this film from being a complete disaster. Towards the end, the heroes are in need of a vessel, with the own being out of commission. So they go aboard the USS Minesota, a ship that has not seen active duty for some time. But who will step up to the mark and work the ship?  Namely the aged veterans who were being honoured in the earlier Ceremony. With the majority of them passed pension age, you wonder whether their hearts will hold out, but they do an admirable job, providing some heart and humour to an otherwise pretty drab movie.

Hopefully film studios will come to realise that Taylor Kitsch seems to have the kiss of death round him when it comes to carrying a top Hollywood movie. He sunk "John Carter" and it seems that he will continue the trend with this latest film.

No amount of special FX can transform this dire movie.......4 out of 10

"Pirates! In An Adventure With Scientists"

The Pirate Captain is not the best at his trade. The only bounty he would come up with is the chocolate bar!! But his crew adore and worship him. So with his trusty 'parrot' at his side, he decides to enter for best Pirate of the Year.
Alas his efforts to achieve this title do not come to fruition, and he becomes the laughing stock of the Pirating community.

Whilst on his voyage he encounters the ship The Beagle, and its captain, one Charles Darwin. Bored with another ship without any gold on board, the Pirates are all set to throw dear Charles off the plank, when he sees Pirate Captain's prized 'Parrot', and it turns out to be a very rare Dodo. For Mr Darwin, this is the find of the Century, and he hopes to show the bird at the London Science Fair and be the envy of the World.
But the trip to London could be the Pirate Captain's most dangerous voyage yet, as it means venturing to the land of Queen Victoria, a monarch who has an intense hatred of all things Pirate. But with the aid of some clever disguises, they manage to pull off quite a coup, well for a little while.
But all too soon, Pirate Captain is disgraced, Polly the Parrot, or should that be Dodo is in the hands of Queen Victoria, and Charles Darwin, who is madly in love with England's longest reigning Monarch (So far), ends up out of love, bereft of a Dodo, and just left with his constant Monkey companion Mr. Bobo.

The race is then on to rescue Polly, for it seems that Queen Victoria does not want the bird as a showpiece for London Zoo, but as the main course at a banquet she is hosting with other World Leaders.

This is a wonderfully delightful film, from the makers of "Wallace & Gromit". Director Peter Lord has done a ship shape job with this latest movie. There are so many gags in the film, many of them visual, that you could certainly watch the film twice and still not see them all. Some are rather subtle, but all are very funny.
The vocal talents of some great actors have been used, from Hugh Grant as The Pirate Captain, David Tennant as Charles Darwin to Brian Blessed as The Pirate King, surely the best casting in the whole film.

For film goers of all ages this film delivers, part with a few pieces of gold and see this great sea faring film........8 out of 10.

"The Cold Light of Day"

Will Shaw is a man with problems. The firm he owns is about to go belly up, and despite wanting to stay at home and try to rescue his firm from financial disaster, he has to endure a far worse fate. Having to spend the weekend on board a yacht with his family. Clearly there are some family tensions.
When tensions get the better of Will, he heads to the mainland. He makes his way back to the yacht, but it is not where it should be, and also his family are all missing.

The local Police provide no help whatsoever, in fact they wish to hand him over to a gangster, who will do lord knows what with him. But in the struggle he is helped by his Father, played by Bruce Willis. It transpires that his Father Martin works for the CIA, and has in his possession a briefcase with sensitive and a whole host of nasty characters want to get their hands on it, including his Superiors, who come in the guise of Sigourney Weaver.

What follows is a travesty of a film, with below par dialogue, a mess of a story, lots of car chases, shooting, bad acting, in all a general mess of a film. The camera work at times can induce vomitting, in fact so can many other aspects of this film.
The cast member I feel most sorry for is Sigourney Weaver, she should give real consideration to firing her agent, what with this following "Abduction", she really needs some decent material to work with.
Aside from the hope that the new "Die Hard" movie will erase the memory of the dire "Die Hard 4.0", maybe Mr. Willis should consider retiring, as he clearly is suffering from a similar fate to that of Miss. Weaver, and given that he is 67, the action roles will not exactly be flying in his direction.
And my only hope is that Henry Cavill can do a far better job with the new "Superman" franchise that what he has displayed here.

A mess, save your time, your money, and your sanity......3 out of 10

"Contraband"

Former criminal and now Family Man Chris is content with his life. The past and the crimes he undertook are far behind him. Or are they?
That is until his brother-in-law Andy decides to try and earn some extra cash by drug smuggling. Unfortunately when the ship is raided by Customs, he has to throw the drugs overboard to avoid being arrested. Naturally this does not please the people he was meant to delivering the drugs to.

 Andy is now in serious debt to his paymaster Tim Briggs, a rather nasty piece of work. Clearly out of his depth, Andy turns to Chris to help him get Briggs off his back. The only way that Briggs will consider the debt cleared is if Chris will help with a new job that he is planning.
As as wise man once said, the Best Laid Plans etc, and naturally all does not go well. So with the venture going up the swanee, not only is Chris at risk now but so are his family.  Helping Chris through this tough time is his best friend Sebastian.
Events really start to spiral out of control when Chris has to undertake another job to put right the one that went wrong. And guess what?  Yep, that ones goes pear-shaped as well. It could almost be a comedy, as at times the plot is quite laughable. How he gets out of the scrapes he is in is remarkable. He is either very lucky or the best  Criminal in history.

All in all, it is not a great movie, it will not go down as a classic, and will do little to improve the careers of any of the cast.......4 out of 10