Yes that last one is correct, well it is in Rainmouth, where this latest comedy horror is set. The sleepy seaside town has fallen victim to a lycanthrope.
Jamie (Ed Speleers), who more orless runs his mother's boarding house, hangs around the town with his friends, a motley group of no-hopers, all represented from the nerd, to the cock sure sex mad one. However, Jamie's world takes a turn for the better when Juliana arrives in town, but she is not the only new arrival. Hot on her heels is the very mysterious Sid, looking like a tramp version of Van Helsing.
It transpires that there is indeed a werewolf on the loose, and ripping young virgins to shreds. This worries Jamie considerably as he has yet to lose his cherry. Despite his falling for Juliana, they never seem to be able to find that special moment for some bedroom shananigans. Could the fact that Sid is always shadowing her be a factor? Is she the werewolf terrorising the town? Is Sid a double bluff, and actually the hairy beast himself? Do we care? No we bloody don't.
Sadly this is pathetic entry in the genre of British horror, the most horrific thing about the whole effort is that it was commissioned in the first place. One can only assume that Timothy Spall owes the Director or Producer a favour, or did them a favour,as I can see no reason for an actor of his calibre to appear in such drivel.
However, when you see the score, you may wonder why it is as high as it is. The answer is simple, you get to see Ed Speleers naked, (no frontal) and yes it is worth seeing for that alone, and yes I am that shallow.....sorry folks
All hair and no bite.........4 out of 10
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